F#m E F#m E F#m E F#m E

[Verse 1]
F#m                            A
Shakespeare’s got a mail order Uzi
Bm                  C#              F#m
Shakespeare’s got a gun; he’s gonna use it
F#m                                  A
Shakespeare’s got a prostitute names Suzie
Bm                  C#              F#m
Shakespeare’s got a gun; he’s gonna use it
A                    Bm
It seems some monkey just outside of Pittsburgh
D                         C#
Finally typed out Hamlet; typed out Hamlet word for word
F#m                  A    Bm                   D
Shakespeare’s pissed off; Shakespeare’s got an Uzi
Bm                  C#              F#m
Shakespeare’s got a gun; he’s gonna use it

[Interlude]
F#m E F#m E F#m E

[Verse 2]
F#m                              A
Shakespeare’s got a Fender Stratocaster
Bm                   C#                  F#m
He’s got that sucker cranked; he’s gonna blast her
F#m                        A
Led Zeppelin was never any faster
Bm                  C#           F#m
Shakespeare’s got a Fender Stratocaster
 A                     Bm
He’s dressed in black; He’s got a Marshall stack
D                          C#
He dances with baboons who jump up on his back
   F#m             A      Bm           D
Aww Love’s Labor’s Lost; that’s in the past
F#m
Shakespeare’s got a Fender Stratocaster

[Interlude]
F#m E F#m E F#m E

[Bridge]
A                             Bm
Shakespeare’s got no use for thick black glasses
    D                            C#
Who sit and dissect tragedies in college English classes
A                            Bm
Shakespeare’s sick of words; Shakespeare’s sick of letters
D                          C#
Shakespeare watches videos the dirtier the better

[Verse 3]
F#m                                 A
Shakespeare’s got a liquor store in Anaheim
Bm                    C#        F#m
Shakespeare combs his hair with soup spoon
F#m                                 A
Shakespeare drinks tequila out of styrofoam
Bm                  C#              F#m
Shakespeare’s got a liquor store in Anaheim
    A               Bm
He sells magazines; he eats cigarettes
   D                   C#
He never says a word; he sleeps in a Corvette
  F#m                   A     Bm
Aww Shakespeare’s got a gun; Shakespeare’s got an Uzi
Bm                           D
Shakespeare’s got a guitar; says he’s gonna use it
F#m                 A       Bm
Shakespeare’s got a gun and liquor store in Anaheim
F#m                 C#              F#m
Shakespeare’s got a gun; he’s gonna use it