D                                A
Well I heard a lovely rumour that Bette Midler had a tumour
   D                           A
So gleefully I went to tell my friends
         D                         F#
But they said it was a lie and she wasn't going to die
    G                               A
And by the way have we got news for you!
         D                          A
And they told me that the man I had always known as dad
D                            A
Hadn't met my mum when I was born
         D                      F#
And they reckon that I am but I hope to god I'm not
    D                   A    D
The bastard son of Dean Friedman
                        A    D    (instr A D A rpt)
The bastard son of Dean Friedman.
       D                                 A
And my school work fell behind with this bombshell on my mind
        D                        A
But the art teacher said he understood
             D                        F#
But he could only sympathise with the sadness in my eyes
G                              A
Even though he showed me his Magritte.
           D                         A
And in the corridors of fear I would shed a lonely tear
   D                             A
As ridicule flew at me from both sides
         D                           F#
And they mocked me in my Mocks and embroidered in my socks
    D                   A    D
The bastard son of Dean Friedman
                        A    D     (instr A D A rpt)
The bastard son of Dean Friedman.
D                       A                         (instr A D A rpt)
Supercallifragilistic Borussia Moenchen Gladbach
    D                  F#
And you can thank your lucky stars that you're
D                           A    D
Not the bastard son of Dean Friedman
                        A    D
The bastard son of Dean Friedman