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[Verse]
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Dear Santa, the thing is this year has been lame
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It always seemed, I always dreamed by now I'd have someone else's last name
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Way past grown, sleeping in a shrunken bed
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All alone, unless you count the squatters tearing up my head

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Tried so hard to be good all year long
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And we are all inherently bad, Anne Frank had it wrong

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Santa, oh Santa, where were you last night?
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I asked for nothing, I even left some cookies right
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By the open window, I don't have a chimney, just a heart of gold, you see
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Imagine my surprise that not even santa wants cookies from me

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[Verse 2]
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Dear Santa, could you use a 6 foot 1 elf?
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I'm sick of taking stock from this widow's walk, up here searching for myself
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Is there any way I could hop aboard your sleigh?
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Take a holiday, leave the work to me, your red-nosed blue jay

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When people say the joy you bring's a children's thing, does it sting?
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'Cause I will ring silver bells and sing you're as real as Martin Luther King

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[Verse 3]
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Chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, gingerbread too.
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A full selection from my convection in little shapes of you
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Free flowing Ho-Ho-ing's a lot for one man's jaws
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If you're feeling brittle, I can bake a little Mrs. for your Claus

[Chorus]

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