I went to the public telephone
Just to give you a call
But when I put my money in
I swear I got cut off
I phoned the operator, she said
Don't give me that line
If you think you've been ripped off
Dial 999

Telephone, telephone

I dialled the number she gave me
And then I heard coming down the wire
A voice just like a machine, saying
What service do you require?
I don't want no service
I said 'I'm just trying to get through
This is the only number
That I've got for you

Telephone, telephone

So if you wanna reach me
Or I wanna get to you
We won't use the telephone
This is what we'll do
I'll send you a postcard
Or you drop me a line
Then I won't get so hung up
Dialling 999

Telephone, Telephone