A wizard needs a beard
A pirate needs a beard
A hippy needs a beard
And you, you need a beard
You need a beard, you've gotta have a beard
You call yourself a man?

A professor needs a beard
An archivist needs a beard
A bush ranger needs a beard
And you, you need a beard
You need a beard, you've gotta have a beard
You call yourself a man?

You need a beard
You need a beard
You gotta have a beard
You call yourself a man?
You're not a man without a beard

A king needs a beard
A terrorist needs a beard
A bearded thug needs a beard
And you, you need a beard
You need a beard, you've gotta have a beard
You call yourself a man?
1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4

Beard!