Em                                    Gm
I'm landed in Paris at a quarter to noon
                                                  Dm
So excited to see her, I went straight to the Louvre
Am
I heard she's exquisite, so I bought my ticket
Em
Pushed my way to the front of the crowd
Bm                              G
And I couldn't believe what I saw


[Chorus 1]
           Bm        Em
Mona Lisa, you're an overrated piece of shit
          C                       G
With your terrible style and your dead shark eyes
      Bm
And a smirk like you're hiding a dick
                                 G
(What the fuck is this garbage?)
Bm         Em
Mona Lisa, the original basic bitch
C                           G
Traveled thousands of miles to see your beautiful smile
Bm
Talk about a bait and switch, you ugly


[Verse 2]
Em            G
I'm landed in Cairo to see the pyramids
D                          A
But what did I find there? A dirty pile of bricks
Am                         Em
There was trash all over and a very foul odor

The smell was that of a camel's ass
Bm                       G
But even that wasn't as bad as


[Chorus 2]
     Bm      Em
Mona Lisa, you're worse than the pyramids
     C                     G
Can someone explain why the whole wide world
   Bm
Is obsessed with a Garbage Pail Kid
                                G
(Looks like a Garbage Pail Kid!)
Bm          Em
And DaVinci must have sucked an art historian's dick
C                              G
To get this girl who looked like uncooked bread
Bm
At the top of the all-time list of paintings


[Bridge]
B Bm       Em
Mona Lisa, I got to know
                        Bm
Where the fuck are your eyebrows, I really wanna know
Am
You could land a helicopter on that big potato forehead
D
Get this chick some Rogaine

You a bloated corpse, girl


[Chorus 3]
G  Bm            Em
I am an American man
C
This is my native land
             G          Bm
Where no one lies about paintings
                           G
But that's not the case in France
Bm                     Em
Where the naked ladies dance
                          C
And they look like Dennis Franz

G
You're so mangy, Mona
C                      G
Hair part wider than a country road
C                      G
Unless you count cats, she died alone-a
Bm                   D
The Mona Lisa sucks, la da da da da