I ain't never had no Lucky Charms
My feckin' stout ain't green
Don't worry 'bout catching no leprechauns
And my Irish eyes don't gleam
Won't have me Christmas in Killarney
Never heard no damn Banshee
If that's what it is to bein' Irish
Well that's feckin' news to me

(Chorus)
'Cause our beer is black and
We serve it cold
Been drinking & fightin'
Since I'm 3 years old
Don't know Danny Boy
Got no pot of gold
I'm the real deal feckin' IRISH!

The road to Dublin ain't that rocky
I go rovin' but I ain't wild
Saw you kiss that blarney stone
And we all just feckin' smiled
I rarely dance and I never jig
It's true I like my whiskey
Won't catch me on the Cliffs of Mohr
It's just too goddamn risky

(Chorus)

Don't really believe in being so lucky
I'm not a priest nor cop
Don't know Bono or Van
Will you please just feckin' stop
Don't eat much corn beef and cabbage
Drive a cab and live in Wicklow
You been in Ireland just two days
Well I think it's 'bout time that you go

(Chorus)

Wind at your back
The road will rise
All the good cheer
That's just a farce
Wish we had one big green door
So we could slam it on you arse

(Chorus 3x)