I Wake Up Every Morning, Six O'clock, I`m Right On Time
I Eat a Low Fat Breakfast, I Tie a Perfect Tie
I Kiss the Wife, I Hug the Kids, I Pat the Dogs and Cats
I Never Lose Anything, My Car Keys Or My Hat
'cause I`m the Man of the Year
I`m the Man of the Year
I Never Cheat At Finals, Or Miss a Day At School
My Urine Tests Are Perfect, My Prostate Is a Jewel
'cause I`m the Man of the Year
I`m the Man of the Year
'cause I`m the Man of the Year
I`m Never, Ever Jealous
Never, Ever Cruel
I`m a Graduate of Harvard
Where I Never Broke the Rules
The Queen Made Me a Knight
The Pope Made Me a Saint
The President Plays Golf With Me
I Make Madonna Faint
So Why Am I So Lonely
Depressed and in Despair
If I Pull This Trigger in My Mouth Will Anybody Care
It Was the Greatest Funeral, I Laid in Perfect State
And Later I Will Meet the Lord, I Bet He Just Can`t Wait
To Meet the Man of the Year
I`m the Man of the Year
Stand in Line to Meet the Man
I`m the Man, I`m the Man, I`m the Man