We blasted from Sirius in 2038
The crowds were kinda rowdy but the food was really great
Next stop on the tour is the planet I love most
The humans all are sexy and they love to watch our shows

We're the Cosmic Bandits
We've come to rock your planet
If you’re in luck, we might abduct you, too
With skin-tight slacks and Marshall stacks
We’re probing 'round the nation
So climb aboard the mothership tonight

The PA system's flabby and the monitors are shot
The synthesizer's flaky, and the room is super hot
But we are on a mission to deliver you the rock
A century will pass and you'll still feel the aftershocks

We're the Cosmic Bandits
We've come to rock your planet
If you’re in luck, we might abduct you, too
With skin-tight slacks and Marshall stacks
We’re probing 'round the nation
So climb aboard the mothership tonight

Tonight we land in Fargo and tomorrow play a mall
A county fair in Bismarck, a casino in Sioux Falls
We're sampling the finest of your planetary frills
So show us what you're made of cause we've got some time to kill

We're the Cosmic Bandits
We've come to rock your planet
If you’re in luck, we might abduct you, too
With skin-tight slacks and Marshall stacks
We’re probing 'round the nation
So climb aboard the mothership tonight