Everything's dead here
Covered with plastic
Everything's fluoro
Evergreen matter
Gotta stop grass growin'
Cover that wormhole
Gotta stop birds from
Shitting on my lawn

When it don't matter
Everything's better
Throwaway plates are better for business
Everything's easy
Better for the earth is astroturf

Six butterflies fluttered by
Looked horrified
I just hatched from chrysalis
I've only hours, 36
I need a mate to do my biz
And this is where I will die
Heartbreaking way to end
I will cry on astroturf

Suitable texture
Suitable colour
Miniature forest
Better than nature
Makes me feel better
Knowing I won't go
Out on my lawn
And see an animal
Everything's sterile
Even infertile
Proud of my monster
Never been straighter
Dog-shit heaven
Better than the earth
Astroturf

Six butterflies fluttered by
Looked horrified
I just hatched from chrysalis
I've only hours, 36
I need a mate to do my biz
And this is where I will die
Heartbreaking way to end
I will cry on astroturf

Astroturf-ing
Astroturf-ing
Astroturf-ing
Astroturf-ing
Astroturf-ing
Astroturf-ing
Astroturf-ing
Better than the earth is astroturf

Six butterflies fluttered by
Looked horrified
I just hatched from chrysalis
I've only hours, 36
I need a mate to do my biz
And this is where I will die
Heartbreaking way to end
I will cry on astroturf