D7: ------ 200212
F#7: ----- 242322
Am7: ----- 002010
Am(add9):- 002410
B7: ------ 221202
Baug: ---- X21003

[Verse 1]
Em
Please, leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman
                                                    
From that moment you'll be out of place and underdressed
Am7 G                             
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it
                                                   B (Em)
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and...

Em                                    D7     
Please, leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman
G                                 Am7
From that moment you'll be out of place and underdressed
    Am                                B
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it
C                                Bm           Baug
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and...

            Em                                            Am(add9) Am
When you're in black slacks with accentuating, off-white, pin------stripes
Am(add9) Am Am7        B7        F#7  B7 Em
Who------a, everything goes according to plan

 [Chorus]
Em                  B7                   Em           G    D
I'm the new cancer, never looked better, you can't stand it
            G
Because you say so under your breath
          F#   B7                Bm           C
You're reading lips "When did he get all confident?"
C           Bm        Am7          G
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
             Am7         B7
Never looked better, and you can't stand it

B C B C B

[Verse 2]
Em
Next is a trip to the, the ladies room in vain, and
Am7
I bet you just can't keep up with (keep up) these fashionistas, and
G                                Am7
Tonight, tonight you are, you are a whispering campaign
B7                                  B                           B7
I bet to them your name is "Cheap", I bet to them you look like shh...

Em                  Am
Talk to the mirror, oh, choke back tears
         G                      C           B (Am7)
And keep telling yourself that "I'm a diva!" 
Am7                       B7                   C
Oh and the smokes in that cigarette box on the table, 
             Am7    B7    Am    B7   Am7       B7  
They just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin

 [Chorus]
Em                  B7                   Em           G    D
I'm the new cancer, never looked better, you can't stand it
            G
Because you say so under your breath
          F#   B7                Bm           C
You're reading lips "When did he get all confident?"
C           Bm        Am7          G
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
             Am7         B7
Never looked better, and you can't stand it

[Solo]
Em Am G  Em
Am B  Em Em 

Em Am G  Em
Am B  Em Em 

[Bridge]
Em            Am        G            Em
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
     Am             B          Em  
I've never looked better, and you can't stand it
Em            Am        G            Em
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
     Am             B          Em  
I've never looked better, and you can't stand it

[Outro]
      Em                        Am
And I know, and I know, it just doesn't feel like 
        G                          Em
a night out with no one sizing you up
           Am7             B7                 
I've never been so surreptitious, so of course 
             Em
you'll be distracted when I spike the punch

      Em                        Am
And I know, and I know, it just doesn't feel like 
        G                          Em
a night out with no one sizing you up
           Am7             B7                 
I've never been so surreptitious, so of course 
             Em
you'll be distracted when I spike the punch

      Em                        Am
And I know, and I know, it just doesn't feel like
        G                          Em
a night out with no one sizing you up
           Am7             B7                 
I've never been so surreptitious, so of course 
             Em                   B7  Em
you'll be distracted when I spike the punch