G           Em          C           Bb
E|-----------|-----------|-----------|-----------|
B|-----------|-----------|-----------|-----------|
G|------4-0--|------3-4--|------9----|-----------|
D|-----------|-----------|--------10-|------8-9--|
A|-----------|-----------|-----------|-----------|
E|--3--------|--0--------|--8--------|--6--------|

This is the general pattern for the chords. Sometimes they are strummed once* and sometimes fast**

[Intro]

G Em G Em

G Em                           G Em
    Good evening boys and girls,
G                  Em
  this song is called: "The Velvet Ditch"
G Em                              G         Em
   Can I get a "Yee haw", Laurie?  Yee haw!
G             Em
Thank you, it goes like this

[Verse]

G      Em
Velvet ditch (Velvet ditch)
G      Em
My old friend (My old friend)
G        Em
A sweaty hand (Sweaty hand)
G             Em
You'll always lend (Always lend)
G        Em
Twist my arm (Twist his arm)
G           Em
As I try to leave (Try to leave)
G               Em
And I fall back in (Fall back in)
G            G*    A*   C
Comfortably (Comfortably)
       Bb
Golden crown (Golden crown)
C         Bb
Rusty and brown (Rusty and brown)
C           Bb
Independent venue
C**                        Bb*
Tear it down (Tear it down)
G      Em
As if there's (As if there's)
G       Em
Not enough (Not enough)
G         Em      G       G*   A*  C
Luxury apartments in this town
        Bb
Velvet ditch (Velvet ditch)
C       Bb
Velvet ditch (Velvet ditch)
C        Bb
It feels good until
      C**               Bb*
Your feet start to itch

[Outro]

G Em G Em
         And, oh, they're itching

G Em G Em G Em G Em G Em G

G A C
  And up

Bb C Bb C Bb C

    Bb
And down

G Em G Em

G                       Em
Thank you boys and girls

G Em

           G*
good night