E    G   D   C
E|-0----3----2----0-|
B|-0----0----3----1-|
G|-1----0----2----0-|
D|-2----0----0----2-|
A|-2----2----X----3-|
E|-0----3----X----X-|


Verse 1:
       E            
All my days,
   G         D      E
 I live with my disgrace
    G         D       E
I'm afraid to show my face
       G         D      C
Or at least take off my underwear...


          E
See I was born
       G        D        E
Like a half way neutered pet
        G      D        E
I don’t have a matching set
       G       D
It’s a part of me
     C
That just aint there
        
Please, don’t stare


Chorus
           E                G
Well I’m a gambling man with out two dice
         E                       G
I’m like Uncle Ben with only one grain of rice
      E                     G
Oh to have two testis would be so nice
         D   C   E
But I’m half a man
          D    C    E
Yeah, I’m half a man


Verse2
      E
Wanna die
        G        D       E
end it all, just call it quits
        G      D        E
I can’t find a cup that fits
       G        D       C
And at baseball games I feel so dumb
       C
When I hear “ball one?


       E
Oh, my God
          G        D       E
How could you have been so cruel
        G      D      E
To give me one family jewel
        G          D          C
And the one that’s there must feel so sad
       C
He’s a lonely nad

Chorus 2
           E                    G
Well I’m a marathon runner with just one leg
      E                    G
I’m a fallopian tube with just one egg
      E
Oh, I want another testi
     G
Do I have to beg?
    D    C E
I’m half a man
         D    C E
Yeah, im half a man


Bridge
E..G...E...G...E...G...D...C
kinda like chorus

Chorus 3
           E                            G
Well I’m a tweedle dee with no tweedle dum
          E                                 G
And I’m a Siskel and an Ebert with just one thumb
          E                          G
And I’m a Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of rum
         D    C  E
I’m just half a man
          D    C  E
Yeah, I’m half a man