Quiet your mind, now what do you hear?
The vestige of hope in flowing beer
Ancient themata creep into your soul
Crack open bottles, let good times roll!

Tap some kegs and sip some suds
Inject it straight into our blood
Froth and foam and things unknown
No dough today, we'll need a loan!

Hey you! You got green to spare! Fifty bucks is alotta wealth to share…
We know you wanna drown your past
When your broads just slobbered down our masts

Circled this blue marble a thousand times
Fought off foes through steal and rhyme
We won't rest 'til we've had our fill
But we ain't gonna foot the bill!

[Chorus]
And now it's time to pound some brews!
Our pockets dry - This round's on YOU!

So what say we resolve these issues?
Before you reach for a box of tissues
You might as well just buy us booze
Before we take another pleasure cruise

As sayings go: "if it's free - it's for me"
Well your wench was, now just take a knee
Kids, there's no shame in havin' fun
But this time you've been out-fucking-done

Real pirates never pay to drink
And the critics never seem to think
We do whatever the fuck we please
And bring the saucy wenches to their knees

Circled this blue marble a thousand times
Fought off foes through steal and rhyme
We won't rest 'til we've had our fill
But we ain't gonna foot the bill!

Son, drinkin's not a game, ya hear?
Now pony up ya fuckin' queers
Friends will backstab ya in a fucking flash
'Tis in yar interest to front said cash

We pirates three had come to splurge
Beverages in hand, an alcoholic surge
The night was cloaked in a liquid stupor
But all we found was loser party-poopers
We circled this blue marble a thousand times
Fought off foes through steal and rhyme
We won't rest 'til we've had our fill
But we ain't gonna foot the fucking bill!