A   D   A  D  F  E  A  C# D D# E

[Verse 1]
A                      D                        A
I woke up this morning, then I went back to bed
       D                                               A
Said I woke up this morning, then I went right back to bed
      F                                 E
Got a funny kind of feelin' like I got broken glass in my underwear
      A             C#     D         D#          E
And a herd of wild pigs is trying to chew off my head..........you know what I'm sayin'

[Verse 2]
       A                   D                          A
Well I ain't got not money, I'm just walkin' down the road
       D                                                        A
Said I ain't got no money honey, so I'm just walking down this lonely old road
       F                                        E                       A    C# D D# E
Well I wish I could get me some money, but I forgot my automated teller code...........

[Verse 3]
A                                            D                                               A
I was born in a papersack in the bottom of a sewer, I had to eat dirtclods for breakfast my family was so poor
   D                                                    A
My daddy was a waitress, my mom sold bathroom tiles, my bros and sisters all hated me cuz I was an only child
          D             F                      A
I got the blues so bad, wooooo, kinda wish I was dead.....
           F                     E                      A          C#   D   D#      E
Maybe I'll blow my brains out mama, or maybe I'll, yeah maybe I'll just go bowling instead.....


[Bridge]
           D                                                                                              A
I'm just a no good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime
              D                                                                                              A
Nothing but a lowdown beer bellied, boneheaded, pigeontoed, turkey necked, weaselfaced worthless hunk of slime
        F                                   E
Guess I pretty low self image, maybe it's a chemical imbalance or something,
A                            C#       D        D#                E
I should probably go and see a doctor about it when I've got the time....

[Guitar solo]

A   D   A       D
.................Aw, make it talk, son, make it talk
D    A     F    E                     A    C# D D# E
.................Ok, now make it shut up.............

[Outro]
A                                        D                                                    A
Plagues and famine and pestilence always seem to get me down, I always feel so miserable whenever I'm around
  D
I wish somebody would come along, stick a pitchfork through my brain
    A
I'd flush myself right down the toilet, but I'd just clog up the drain
          D            F                    A               F                      E
I got the blues so bad.....kinda wish I was dead, maybe I'll blow my brains out mama,

                        E
Or maybe I'll go bowling.....
                         E
Or I just might go bowling......
                                               E
Maybe I'll just rent some shoes and go bowling.....
                                                                                               A  C# D D# E  A
Maybe I'll join a league, enter a tournament, put on a stupid looking shirt and go bowling...instead!