If you take a sock off
Then I'll take a sock off
We'll do one for one til we're both bare
And with our tongues click-clicking
The big bright clock stops ticking
As we make a right mess of your hair

Then we'll make plans for dinner
Though my gut's got no thinner
Since I've been letting you feed it
And you're useless at drinking
But these days I've been thinking
I doubt that we're going to need it

And if you stop bleeding
And we took to breeding
You know our son would be a hit
And as for our daughter
All suitors she'll slaughter
With her brains and her beauty and her wit

After the flirting and after the swooning
With nerves put to bed, it's all just fine tuning
And we'll never get bored with our routine and pattern
When I'm your house-husband and you are my slattern

But one day I might cut loose
And I just won't be much use
And so you'll push me away
So do your best and make me pay