Anything you do with a telephone
I can do with a piece of string
I never try to call you cause you're always at home
You're just waiting for the phone to ring
I could be your object, baby
You could be my thing

But you don't love me yet
You don't love me yet
I'm handsome and I'm clever and I play the clarinet
But you don't love me yet
You don't love me yet

Anything you do with superglue
I can do with a rubber band
You'll shoot it at my eye and then I'll die
Yeah I know you've got it planned
Then you could throw me in a ditch
And cover me with sand

But you don't love me yet
You don't love me yet
You could be my Romeo and I your Juliet
But you don't love me yet
You don't love me yet

I've got references
I've got references
I've got references
I know several women who would tell you under oath
That men are good for just two things and I excel at both
Yeah you're lucky that I'm single, better catch me while you can
If you wait too long then I'll have taken someone else's hand
They're lining up behind you now and everyone's a fan

Anything you do with a rolodex
I can do with an index card
I'm writing down the things that you're gonna do next
No it isn't very hard
You could cover me with leaves
And burn me in your yard

But you don't love me yet
You don't love me yet
I could be your Mickey Mouse and you'd be my Annette
I played Bjorn Borg at tennis and I won most every set
I look like Charles Lindbergh and I'd like to fly a jet
I'm very fond of animals although I'm not a vet
I know your brain is saying da but your heart still says nyet
Cause you don't love me yet
You don't love me yet

(Other lines that sometimes sneak in there:
I could be your Montague and you my Capulet
I'm the biggest thing in music since Alanis Morissette)