D      D      D       D

[Verse 1]
          D                       A7               A7                 D
Wash my hands,  I don't touch my face,  I stay at home,  Shelter in place,
        D7                     G    G7           D             A7                   D   G   D
Social distance,  Don't go to work,    I wear a mask, & gloves,  & stay away from church.

[Verse 2]
              D                    A7                    A7                D
I avoid old folks,  And should I sneeze,  I do it in my elbow,  Or up my sleeve,
           D7                 G    G7        D                     A7                   D   G   D
Six feet apart,  That is the rule,    And I pray for the day, the kids can go back to school.

[Chorus 1]
      G                        D
I'm washing my hands,  Like a racoon with OCD,
              A7                     D          D7
I've watched Hulu, Roku, Netflix,  PBS and the BBC,
       G                                 D                 G
I've taken down all my mirrors,  And I'm,  Sick of what I see . . .
 D                                A7              D            G      D
Two more weeks of quarantine will be the death of me.   (The death of me . . . )

[Verse 3]
          D                      A7            A7                     D
I risk a trip,  To the grocery store,  To buy T.P.  And a few things more,
                D7                 G    G7     D             A7                    D   G   D
But when I get there,  All I can find,     Is sixteen Honey Buns and some Mad Dog wine.

[Chorus 2]
      G                        D
I'm washing my hands,  Like a racoon with OCD,
              A7                      D          D7
I've watched Hulu, Roku, Netflix,   PBS and the BBC,
       G                                    D              G
I've taken down all my mirrors, 'Cause I'm sick of what I see . . .
      D                                         A7              D           G       D  N.C.
Yeah two more weeks of this quarantine is gonna be the death of me.   (The death of me . . . )

[Outro]
'spoken'
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You know they say this is war, No we don't have to storm Omaha Beach or Porkchop Hill,
D
Ha, We just lay here on the couch, and watch T.V.
D
“Whew, I'd rather volunteer for a high risk comando raid to parachute into Wuhan and find
D
that little fellow that ordered that bat soup.
D
I know what I'm talking about in my head, Saying crazy stuff over and over like, “Yes Dear, Yes Dear.”
D
At breakfast I meant to say “Honey please pass me the pepper” but what slipped out was
D
“You Crazy Woman You've Ruined My Life.”  Hehe.
D                           N.C.                                   D
Of course I immediately appologised,  Ha,   As soon as I regained consiousness.