C                            Am
I'm in the RSL, I joined the Lions club Friday 
     F                 G
My support of sport is thought of highly 
      C                         Am
I'm a Class 6 clerk in the P.   C.D.
    F                         G   
And who the hell is Ayatollah Khomeni?                - alternatively (Osama Bin Laden)

(And)
C          G            Am
It doesn't matter to me 
C          G            Am
It doesn't matter to me 
C    G            Am           F      C    G          C
I'll sit home and watch you all on      my colour  TV

C                              Am
Well I never look further than my own back door
       F                  G
Except when wrapped up in my Commodore                - alternatively (checking the cricket score)
      C                  Am
I was reading Nostradamus or 1984
      F                       G 
(but) I ran out of Valium and then I got bored

(And)
C          G            Am
It doesn't matter to me 
C          G            Am
It doesn't matter to me 
C    G            Am           F      C    G          C
I'll sit home and watch you all on      my colour  TV

C                                Am
Well I prune in June and I plant in October 
    F                           G
And I write to the council when a sign gets knocked over 
  C                               Am
I always say that channel 10 news is best 
    F                                  G
Especially when the weather girl wears a low cut dress

(And)
C          G            Am
It doesn't matter to me 
C          G            Am
It doesn't matter to me 
C    G            Am           F      C    G          C
I'll sit home and watch you all on      my colour  TV


[Saxaphone solo)
C   Am   F   G    repeat 5 times
G            
Sheep, Sheep,

C   Am   F   G    repeat 2 times
G
Sheep, Sheep


(an additoinal verse from the Caught In The Act version)
C                             Am
Well I lost a bit of money on Newganhand
   F                         G
To be quite frank i bought a piece land 
    C                            Am
The cops dug it up it really was a drag 
  F                               G
A whole pile of guns and 2 tonnes of scag

(And)
C          G            Am
It doesn't matter to me 
C          G            Am
It doesn't matter to me 
C    G            Am           F      C    G          C
I'll sit home and watch you all on      my colour  TV


[Saxaphone solo)
C   Am   F   G    repeat 5 times
G            
Sheep Shit !

C                                 Am
Well, my wife ran of to a Women's Shelter 
    F                                    G
She didn't understand me or why I had to belt her 
   C                                         Am
My Daughter carries candles for the festival of light             - alternatively (for Mary Whitehouse)
    F                              G
The fridge is full of beer and I'm all right 

(And)
C          G            Am
It doesn't matter to me 
C          G            Am
It doesn't matter to me 
C    G            Am           F      C    G          C
I'll sit home and watch you all on      my colour  TV

C                       Am
My son's gone of to the Eastern war                      - alternatively (Afgan War, Third World War) 
    F                                     G
And Killen wrote a letter explaining what for            - alternatively (Howard, someone !)
C                                     Am        
It's the very first job the boy's ever held 
F                                          G
He'll learn a good trade while he sees the world 

(And)
C          G            Am
It doesn't matter to me 
C          G            Am
It doesn't matter to me 
C    G            Am           F      C    G          C
I'll sit home and watch you all on      my colour  TV

C                   Am
I'm watching colour TV
C                 Am
Thanking God it's not me 
C     Am        F
OPEC, Exxon and ITT                                 - alternatively Telstra, Ergon, GFC 
C                G         C
Presenting World War Three (darh, narh na !)