E
Here we have a man

Who's chosen to Instagram
    B
His apple pie, a la mode
         E
While he fumbles through the filters
                               B
His ice cream has gotten "a la hot"

And the pie "a la cold."

   E
As you can see
                                B
This street performer's drawn a crowd

To watch him do his thing
                      E
But instead of just enjoying the show

it seems that everyone's decided
   B
To make a documentary

E
Notice this unreasonably attractive couple
  B
Enjoying a reasonably priced Italian dinner together
E
Social networking instead of working
   B
On getting to know each other better

    E
How does that filtered picture taste
      B
Since your dessert has gone to waste?

     E
When do you think you ever will
      B
Wanna watch this portrait juggling film?

    E
You know you want to touch each other
B                 D
Doesn't that feel good?

(He's my brother...)

            B
Get off the phone now!
           F#
It's gonna be okay
A                  E
There's no need to be afraid
B
It doesn't love you
    F#
Its gonna die one day
    A
The government is probably
       E
Spying on you with it anyway

E
Here we have a stereotypical teen
B
Forced to endure "Family Game Night."
     E
He's stereotypically texting

And missing his mom
B
Demonstrate a carousel ride

E
Little Ethan here
                                       B
Is celebrating being the center of the universe

For one year
                          E
But "The World's Greatest Dad"

Is more worried about 'Facebooking' it
     B
Than actually being here

E
Let's listen in and see if we can get some context
 B
"Please hurry! We're at 382 Pine."
E
He has the nerve to make a phone call
          B
At such a pivotal moment in his friend's life

    E
How could you be so disengaged?
      B
While precious memories are being made?

E
Do you really think your friends need
        B
Another baby picture in their feed?

      E
Don't be such a self-centered guy
B                    D
Now isn't that better?

(I think he just died)

            B
Get off the phone now!
           F#
It's gonna be okay.
A                  E
There's no need to be afraid
B         
It doesn't love you
     F#
It's gonna die one day
     A                       E
It's crawling with e-coli bacteria anyway
     
            B                     F#
Get off the phone now! It's gonna be okay