Help I'm a rock, help I'm a rock, help I'm a rock!
Help I'm a rock, help I'm a rock, help I'm a rock!
Somebody, please, please!
Help I'm a rock, help I'm a rock
Wow man, it's a drag being a rock
Help I'm a rock
I wish I was anything but a rock
Heck, I'd even like to be a policeman
Hey, you know what, you know maybe if I practised, you know
Maybe if I passed my driving test
I could get a gig drivin' that bus and pick some freaks up
In front of Ben Franks, right!

Help I'm a cop, help I'm a cop, help I'm a cop!
(Help I'm a rock), help I'm a cop, help I'm a cop!
It's a drag being a cop, I think I'd rather be the mayor
Always wondered what I was gonna be when I grew up, you know
Always wondered whether or not, whether or not I could make it
You know, in society, because
You know, it's a drag when you're rejected
So I tore the cover off a book of matches and I sent in
And I got this letter back that said