One day I sang an aria
that caused a hernia
it was a massive bulge
to the doctor I divulged
that I still had to play
though it caused me massive pain
I wont throw in the towel
just please hold in my bowels

I love my hernia belt
I love my hernia belt
it'll keep my guts inside me
til the end of the show

I've got a little friend down there (not that one)
a different little friend down there
a better one you can't find
to hold in your intestines
a high fashion wrap
that hits beneath the belt
I don't cause a fuss
in velcro I do trust

I love my hernia belt
I love my hernia belt
it'll keep my guts inside me until
I have my surgery

what are they gonna shave
what are they gonna save
when they fix my hernia
hope the doctor doesnt slip
when he cuts into my skin
I just want to piss in one direction!

now I love my hernia repair
I love my hernia repair
it'll kep my guts inside me for the rest of my life