He came from out of nowhere, and he terrified the west
No shotgun, no six-shooter and no badge upon his chest
But whenever he came into town, the population hid
He was known as the halitosis kid

Now, one day, kid rode into town to get advice from Dr. Dawning
Who said, rinse your mouth out with a cuppa horse manure each morning
Kid said, will that cure my halitosis? Will that get rid of it?
He said, well, no, it won't, but it will tone it down a bit

Now, kid, he loved a woman, and the woman loved him too
You may say that's impossible, and how can this be true?
Well, she'd had an operation, or she'd lost her sense of smell
She was known as lucky lulu bell

Now, kid, he had a rival who was often heard to yell
By heck, I mean to have my wicked way with lulu bell!
But he belched, made rude noises, and his soul was pitch black
And they called him thunderclap

The thunder had a partner, he was squeaky clean
He made his own clothes on a brand-new sewing machine
His chaps, his silky shirt upon, he had a pink sombrero
He was known as the gay caballero

Now, you see, that villain thunderclap and his pal gay caballero
They're convinced the end's in sight for our courageous hero
But there's one thing they ain't thought of
There's one thing they don't know
The kid's halitosis is quite mild
Compared to his B. O