You said you'd found me helpless on the A47
Shouting at the passers by that Alan Brazil
Seems to be the singer in the Goombay Dance Band
And now you want to put me in the ambulance
But I don't want to go in the ambulance

I asked if you would like to go along to
See the Rocky Horror Picture Show
You said you'd love to so I murdered your family
'Cos I hate the Rocky Horror Picture Show
Besides I'm going browsing round hardware shops

You'll find me dying casually on the fourteenth fairway
Trying in vain to wave a fourball through
I'll understand if you should walk straight past me
Ideally though I hope you'd call an ambulance
Unless of course you're'

Sampling Alessi in St Neots
Or chasing Bunty James round Hilton Park
Oh, Oh Lori in St Neots
Is this me or is this Dead-Shot Keen?
Hello, this is Joanie
This plectrum once belonged to you know who
Grocer Jack, Grocer Jack, get off your back
Go into town