E
I was just sitting there eating a salmonella sandwich
       B7               E
When a man walked up to me
           B7
“Would you mind, dear sir, if I asked you a question?
   E
If music be the food of love are you the indigestion?”
B7                   E
Oh-oh-oh-oh possibly yes.

E
Found myself standing ‘mongst a score or so of ageing grans and granddads
       B7                   E
When a frail voice asked of me:
           B7
“Would you mind, dear boy, I just can’t stand all this tension
E
Please let me in front of you so I can cash me pension”
B7                    E
No-oh-oh-oh, fuck off no.

E
Frank was going through a state of depression in his bedroom
        B7                  E
When he reached out for the jar
   B7
He swallowed every last pill and he lay back on his duvet
  E
A Haliborange overdose – that’s not the right way
   B7                           E
To ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, to kill yourself.

E
Down beside the babbling brook I was trying to sketch myself a stallion
         B7               E
When the stallion said to me:
            B7
“That’s the third biro that you’ve broke and all day I cannot wait
        E
You can lead a horse to water but a pencil must be lead mate”
B7                             E
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh said the stallion.

E         G      B7  E
Me and my girl – sealclubbing
          G      B7         E
Me and my girl – out on the ice
          G      B7  E
Me and my girl – sealclubbing
          G      B7    E
Me and my girl – oh so nice.

E         G      B7  E
Me and my girl – sealclubbing
          G      B7         E
Me and my girl – out on the ice
          G      B7  E
Me and my girl – sealclubbing
          G      B7     E
Me and my girl – oh paradise.