Ab                    Eb
A doyen of topiary once told me
     Ab                              Eb
That one day he would like to grow a maze
   Ab                              Eb
It seemed to be quite logical that this should be his wish
         Ab                             Eb
And with that we both went our separate ways.

     C                             Am
They said you died at seven due to something in your head
  C                              Am
I asked the sister why it wasn’t someone else instead
  C                               Am
Tonight I’ll cry myself a bath of tears and ask the world
            G                G7                        B E (x2) Ab Eb (x4)
“Why is Rod Hull alive – and getting paid as well?”

Ab                               Eb
Heard a Palace spokesman mention Sarah
Ab                                        Eb
Said she’d known the groins of Jacques Laffite
      Ab                             Eb
She’s well prepared to be a standard bearer
   Ab                          Eb
As pure as unproverbial driven sleet.

C                             Am
Halfway up the Wrekin with an empty flask of tea
  C                              Am
A fog descends and takes away my visibility
    C                              Am
Yet in this Helen Keller state I’d still quite like to know
            G                G7
“Why is Rod Hull alive – and getting paid as well?”

      Am                E                   Am              E
And I wonder if they’ll bring back National Service and the birch
      Am           E                  Am                         G        B E (x8)
And I wonder but I doubt if they will ever bring back the Watney Cup.