| Em     | Em      | Em     | Em     |
| Em     | Em      |
| Em     | A   G   | Em     | A   G   |
| Em     | A   G   | Em     | A   G   |


[Verse 1]
Em
Walkin' like a millionaire
A              G
Smilin' like a king
   Em                                   A     G
He leaned his shopping cart against the wall
            Em
He said, "I been a lot of places
      A             G
And I seen a lot of things
     Em                                     A    G
But, sonny, I seen one thing that beats 'em all


[Pre-Chorus]
      Em
I was flyin' back from Lubbock
      A                  D
I saw Jesus on the plane
   Em
or maybe it was Elvis
               A                     Bm
You know, they kinda look the same
Em                              A
  Hey, look out, Junior, you're steppin' on my bed"
  D    Em
I said, "I don't see nothin"
        A
He just glared at me and said


[Chorus]
   Em        A
If dirt were dollars
   Em        A
If dirt were dollars
   Em        A
If dirt were dollars
           G        Em    A  G
I wouldn't worry anymore


[Verse 2]
Em
Lookin' like a beauty queen
A          G
Loyal as a wife
    Em                               A       G
She raised her little voice and testified
Em
 "I am a good girl
     A            G
I've been one all my life"
        Em                           A      G
But her virtue was as swollen as her pride


[Pre-Chorus]
    Em
She should've had the Oscar
    A                        D
She must have been miscast
Em                    A            D
  Her fifteen minutes   went by so fast
Em                   A                D
  I said, "Now, baby,  have you got no shame?"
         Em
She just looked at me, uncomprehendingly
     A                         D
Like cows at a passing train


[Chorus]
   Em        A
If dirt were dollars
   Em        A
If dirt were dollars
   Em        A
If dirt were dollars
                    Em     A
I wouldn't worry anymore


[Bridge]
G
 We got the bully pulpit

And the poisoned pen
A
 We got a press no better

Than the public men
C
 This brave new world
D          Em
 Gone bad again

Em
God's finest little creatures
A                 G
Looking brave and strong
Em
Whistling past the graveyard
A              G
Nothing can go wrong
Em
Quoting from the scriptures
A              G
With patriotic tears
Em
We got the same old men
A                 G
With the same old fears

Em
Standing at attention
A                    D
Wrapped in stars and stripes
Em
They hear the phantom drummers
A                   D
And the nonexistent pipes
Em
These days the buck stops nowhere
A                D
No one takes the blame
Em
But evil is still evil
A            D
In anybody's name

[Chorus]
Em           A
If dirt were dollars
Em           A
If dirt were dollars
Em           A
If dirt were dollars
         G         Em     A  G
We'd all be in the black

Em           A
If dirt were dollars
Em           A
If dirt were dollars
Em           A
If dirt were dollars
            G     Em     A  G
We wouldn't worry anymore