Ask me how do I feel
Now that we're cosy and clinging
Well sir, all I can say is
If I were a bell I'd be ringing!

From the moment we kissed goodnight
That's the way I just gotta behave
And if I were a lamp I'd light
Or if I were a banner I'd wave!

Ask me how do I feel
Little me with my quiet upbringing
Well sir, all I can say is
If I were a gate I'd be swinging!

And if I were a watch
I'd start popping my spring
Oh, and if I were a bell
I'd go "ding dong ding dong ding!"

Ask me how do I feel
From this chemistry lesson I'm learning
Well sir, all I can say is
If I were a bridge I'd be burning!

Well, I knew my moral would crack
From the wonderful way you looked
Boy, if I were a duck I'd quack
Or if I were a goose I'd be cooked!

Ask me how do I feel
Now that we're fondly caressing
And if I were a salad
I know I'd be splashing my dressing!

Or if I were a season
I'd surely be spring
Yes, and if I were a bell
Say, if I were a bell
If I were a bell
I'd go "ding dong ding dong ding!"