I was havin' me a burger
In a dirty greasy spoon café
I was eatin it with relish
When a man beside me turned to say
What's that pubic hair
Doin layin on your bun
I said I never saw it sittin there
Are sure it's really one
He stood up on the counter
And said now look here Blair
I've traveled all over this country
And I've seen pubic hair

(Chorus)
I've seen pubic hair man
And I've never liked'em there man
I've even got my share man
Beneath my underwear man
Stickin out here and there man
I've seen pubic hair

I've seen great ones, straight ones, on my dinner plate ones,
Long ones, strong ones, little curly blonde ones
Red ones, dead ones, layin on the head ones
Black ones, brown ones, little ducky down ones
Short ones, thick ones, growin from your dick ones,
Growin ones, showin ones, flowin ones, blowin ones.

(Chorus)

I've seen bushy ones, pushy ones, up against your mushy ones,
Slave ones, save ones, floatin in your gravy ones,
Pretty ones, dirty ones, fluffin up your birdy ones,
Neat ones, sweet ones, on a toilet seat ones,
Heffer ones, whipper ones, catch'em in your zipper ones,
Throw'em ones, show'em ones, flowin ones, glowin ones.

(Chorus)

I've seen bit ones, lit ones, around your sphincter lip ones,
Dear ones, queer ones, find'em in your beer ones,
Proud ones, loud ones, drop'em in the crowd ones,
Quiet ones, diet ones, burger, shake and fry ones,
Pop ones, quaff ones, floatin in the top ones,
Triple ones, frozen ones, shardin in the hoser ones.

(Chorus)