Riding along I wondered
Just what I should say
To someone who's guts I couldn't stand
one more day
And then it hit me like a bolt out of the blue
The best person to ask would most likely be you

I know that you think
I'm the worst
Person that you've
Ever been cursed
To meet
And I know that you
Probably wish
I were pushing daisies
Through a ditch
But I've changed my tune

Walking along I wondered
Just who I knew
With enough pent up anger to beat someone
Black and blue
Then it came to me like a light bulb overhead
I know that you want at least one person dead

I went abroad for awhile
Learned how to say please
And say thank you
Fell in with a kindly old yogi
He had lots of good things to show me
I feel that I'm almost enlightened
Still I want to bash this guy's head in
I thought maybe you could arrange it
'Cause my new state won't allow it
Now

Lying around I wondered just who I could get
To help me have this big jerk that I know knee-capped
And then it hit me exactly like a lightning strike
You're full of rage and probably spoiling for a fight

I know that you think
I'm the worst
Person that you've
Ever been cursed
To meet
And I know that you
Probably wish
I were pushing daisies
Through a ditch
But I've changed my tune

Strolling along I wondered just how to ask
if you'd consider maybe kicking that dude's ass
I think I know what would make it real easy
You could pretend that that dude's ass is me.

Sorry I ran over your pet cat
Sorrier still I laughed so hard like that
Sorry that my old drug connection
Busted up your Hummel collection
Sorry I showed up at your old job
Sorrier still I brought an angry mob
Sorry about your tires and my razor
But maybe you could do me a favor
Please