G             D7        G     D7    G
On contemplating how one becomes a    star
  C                         G      D7  G
I appear to stumbled upon a form - u - la
C                   G       C               G
Something that will take me straight to the top
    A7                               D7
And leapfrog all of those talentless fops


[VERSE 2]
     G                D7             G             D7     G
They leave the Italia Conti and they think they've got it made
     C                                 G       D7      G 
Sell records to the dribbling mass who claim financial aid
         C               G         C               G
But when people laugh instead they go out of their heads
               A7                                   D7 
Although that's not something I would necessarily dissuade


[VERSE 3]
   G                   D7             G           D7     G 
On perusing the social diaries in the broadsheets at the club
  C                                      G   D7          G 
I pondered on this problem and thought, "Ah, there's the rub."
   C            G     C                 G
So many useless stars once they're popular
A7                                                 D7 
Turn to something else to hide what drivelers they are


[VERSE 4]
     G               D7         G D7 G 
I'll simply choose a nice class A 
    C                G D7 G 
But heroin is so passé
C              G        C             G 
I know what to do and I'll give you a clue
   A7                          D7 
So listen to what I'm about to say


[CHORUS]
  G                           D7      G    D7    G 
I think I'll try some of that crack cocaine
     C                              G   D7   G 
I've heard it rather takes away the pain
C                G                C             G 
It's the kind of caper that might get me in the papers
    A7                         D7 
And garner me some critical acclaim
     G             B         Em    G7
I'll make myself a nice drug hell
  C                         B7
A cheeky tale the press can tell
    G               B             Em          E7
And if I smoke some crack I might get my mojo back
    A7           D7            G   D7   G D7 G
And win myself a Brit Award as well


COMPLICATED BANJOLELE G  O
G D7 G D7 G D7 G
C G D7 G D7 G
C G C G
A7 D7 
G B Em G7
C B7
G B Em E7
A7 D7 G D7 G D7 G


[VERSE 5]
     G                              G    D7     G    D7  G
They wanted me to go rehab I said, "That sounds nice"
                                         G    D7     G   D7  G
Having my arse wiped by the lower class, that sounds nice
C                            C7                    G 
I've got lots of time and if they're supplying the wine
     G               D7             G    D7     G
They wanted me to go rehab I said, "That sounds nice"


[CHORUS]
  G                           D7      G    D7    G 
I think I'll try some of that crack cocaine
     C                              G   D7   G 
I've heard it rather takes away the pain
C                G                C             G 
It's the kind of caper that might get me in the papers
    A7                         D7 
And garner me some critical acclaim
     G             B         Em    G7
I'll make myself a nice drug hell
  C                         B7
A cheeky tale the press can tell
    G               B             Em          E7
And if I smoke some crack I might get my mojo back
    A7           D7            G   D7   G
And win myself a Brit Award as well

[OUTRO] 
    G               B             Em          E7
And if I smoke some crack I might get my mojo back
    A7           D7            G   D7   G D7 G
And win myself a Brit Award as well