[Intro]
    G
E|---------------------------------|
B|---------------------------------|
G|-0-------0-------0-------0-------|
D|----0---0----0--0----0--0----0---|
A|--------------2-------2-------2--|
E|--3---3---2h3--3--2h3--3--2h3--3-|

[Verse 1]
     G              D        C                      G
When I woke up this mornin',   things were lookin' bad
C                   G               D        C      G
  seemed like total silence was the only friend I had
D                   C                 G       C   G
  a bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down... and won
           D                       C                   G      C  G
and it was twelve o'clock before I realized that I was havin' no fun

[Pre-Chorus]
        D                 G                 C     D   G
Ah, but fortunately... I have the key to escape reality

[Chorus] (Change to 3/4 time, and slow down to 130 bpm)
            C                      G
and you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
         D                      G
it don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
          C                            G
won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
         D              C            G   C G C G  C
no I was just tryin' to have me some fun

[Instrumental] (Change back to 4/4 time, speed up to 160 bpm)
G   G   G   G

[Verse 2]
     G                 D         C                     G
last time I checked my bankroll,   well it was gettin' thin
    C                       G             D    C          G
sometimes it seems like the bottom is the only place I've been
D                  C              G         C    G
  chased a rainbow down a one-way street... dead end
    D                     C           G       C    G
and all my friends turned out to be insurance salesmen

[Pre-Chorus]
        D                 G                 C     D  G
Ah, but fortunately... I have the key to escape reality

[Chorus] (Change to 3/4 time, and slow down to 130 bpm)
            C                      G
and you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
         D                      G
it don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
          C                            G
won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
         D              C            G   C G C G  C
no I was just tryin' to have me some fun

[Instrumental] (Change back to 4/4 time, speed up to 160 bpm)
G   G   G   G

[Verse 3]
        G              D       C                 G
Well, I sat down in my closet    with all my overalls
     C              G                D      C        G
just tryin' to get away from all the ears inside the walls
D                  C                  G          C    G
dreamed the police heard everything I thought... what then?
       D                     C            G   C   G
well I went to court and the judge's name was Hoffman

[Pre-Chorus]
        D                 G                 C     D  G
Ah, but fortunately... I have the key to escape reality

[Chorus] (Change to 3/4 time, and slow down to 130 bpm)
            C                      G
and you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
         D                      G
it don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
          C                            G
won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
         D              C            G     C     G     C      G    C             G
no I was just tryin' to have me some fun  (well done, hot-dog bun, my sister's a nun)