A          G             D       C 
I bought a gerbil at the petting zoo
A          G               D     C
If Richard Gere can do it, I can too.
A       G             D        C 
I get undressed and I start to lube
A           G             D          C
I stick the gerbil in the end of the tube.

(strum the pre-chorus)
D              A  
Wondering just how he'll feel
D                               A 
will he like it better than his little wheel
D                A 
careful now he's right beside me
D                 A 
one more inch and he's inside me
D  A  D  A      D    A  D  A 
GO!!!    Gerbil go! 

(1st Chorus)
D      A       D      A
Burrow harder, burrow deeper
D     A      D       A 
be my little chimney sweeper
D         A    D   A
one thing I forgot about
C                N/C
how am I supposed to get you out

(back to picking the verse)
   A      G           D    C
so now my gerbils won easy street
A             G                D         C
it's warm and cozy and there's plenty to eat
A         G      D         C 
the situation is beyond my control
A            G             D           C
gotta find a way to get him out of his hole.

(sturm pre-chorus)
D                A 
I tried crowbars I tried wires
D                       A 
I almost hurt'em with a pair of pliers
D                  A 
I tried cheese but he's not biting
D                  A 
I wish this wasn't so exciting
D  A  D  A      D    A  D  A 
Go!!!  Gerbil Go!!!

(2nd Chorus) 
D      A    D      A 
Jesus, I am such a sucker
D          A       D     A
Please get out you fury fuuuahhh!
D       A     D      A 
I think I am getting ill
C              N/C
suddenly he's very very still

(back to picking verse)
A            G       D      C
Now it's too late my gerbil died
A             G          D    C 
I guess I have committed gerbacide
A           G      D               C 
here's some advice it's very clear cut
A               G       D                         A  G D(now strum verse chords)
if you love your gerbil...don't stick him up your butt
C                       A    
don't stick him up your butt
little fury gerbil in your booty hole
don't stick him up your booma whomma wam 
(start babbling to the music,
kind of a scat like singing) (Ha! Scat...um...nevermind)
Yeah!

(end on chord A)


any major life questions 
consult the manual
there is a god, there is a plan
and the spaceship is coming!
         - Maria Bamford, Comedy Central Presents