LEIGH, BILLY AND SLAVES
Touched by the hand of cool
I wanna be touched by the hand of cool
I wanna be touched by the hand of cool
I wanna be touched by the hand of cool

LEIGH
It's all about potential... Look at those cheeks... etched out of baby granite...

SLAVES
Take a little pinch of no-one
Dress it up in something cool
We know you can teach us something
You're just such a know it all

LEIGH
Get to work...

SLAVES
Blessed if you can make us worthy
Something to write home about
We are dumb
And we know nothing
There's no shadow of a doubt
Oh we love it when you're evil
It's no less than we deserve
How you kill us with unkindness
We hang on every word
How absurd

ALL
I wanna be touched by the hand of cool
I wanna be touched by the hand of cool
I wanna be touched by the hand of cool
I wanna be touched by the hand of cool

LEIGH
I think she's got it... By George, I think she's got it...

SLAVES
It's a little bit Pygmalion
You're a little Dorian Gray
Some of us are heterosexual
Some of us refuse to say
Blessed if you are worthy
Something to write home about
We are dumb and we know nothing
Oh we love it when you're evil
It's no less than we deserve

LEIGH
What? Him wear that?

SLAVES
How you kill us with unkindness
We hang on every word
How absurd

LEIGH
Look at those cheeks...
I wanna be touched by the hand of cool
I wanna be touched by the hand of cool
I wanna be touched by the hand of cool
I wanna be touched by the hand of cool
Touched by the hand of cool
I wanna be touched by the hand of cool
I wanna be touched by the hand of cool
I wanna be touched by the hand of cool

LEIGH
No!