When morning comes we'll see who's left alive
The apocalypse is really bad this time
Pile your firewood up high
'Cuz you don't wanna die
Out there in the cold with all the poor folks
The apocalypse is really bad this time!

I've been watching armageddon-TV
And buying guns for when they come to get me
I got my generator on
Dug a trench in my front lawn
Bought a thousand tons of ramen
Chicken flavour!
The apocalypse is really bad this time!

I bought some batteries from the dollar-store
Next week I'll go out and buy some more
I dug a well in my back yard
It wasn't all that hard
Just hope it isn't poisoned, from all the fracking..!
The apocalypse is really bad this time!

You can say I'm a little nervous
You can say I'm filled with fear
But we don't need your government
Your healthcare or your queers
We're taking back the constitution
Taking back the White House, too
We're going back to the way things were in 1492
Duck Dynasty for president
We'll start our own Nascar
We'll drink beer out of camo-cans
And kill off the retards
We're taking back Christmas
No tax on cigarettes
We'll fix everything with duct tape
Except for the national debt!

The Apocalypse is really bad this time!