i awake today
it's december 10th
the holidays crawl on her back
with less regret
so when you wake, my love
are you ashamed that you live?
bottles strewn across the floor
a valium on an oak headboard
and still... you live

it's december 10th
the coffee house burns out the haze of a drunken fit
so when you speak my love
are you depressed that you live
shades pulled down against sun
to lay as long as health allows

tell me yours
and i'll remember mine
a crashing up
for ruined girls
with mushroom clouds in mind

it's december 10th
a cigarette burns out a scar in a trembling hand
so when you cry my love
are you annoyed that you live?
curled beneath the comforter
to hear the traffic down below
still you live

it's december 10th
another ashtray filled beyond it's brim
so when you're raped, my love
do you pray to be dead?
a picture on a stove mantle
a father holds his lone daughter

tell me yours
and i'll remember mine
a crashing up
for ruined girls
with mushroom clouds in mind