Poor little old young girl
Seventyfive years of age in mind
Been that way since you were a little baby
Girl you're surely one of a kind

Puttin on fake liver spots with make up
Drinkin tea, eatin bicuits, never gettin laid
Drivin everyone around you crazy
With your accordion and your hearing aid

Accordion woman what you gonna do
Talk like an old hag but you're only twentytwo

Spend the afternoon talkin bout the old days
Even though you were not around
Can't you see you gonna get lonely
When all your friends are in the ground

Accordion woman what you gonna do
Look like an old hag still you're only twentytwo

Accordion woman
Born fifty years too late
Accordion woman
Such a terrible fate

Girl, you're only twentytwo