If I ever get arrested again, I've just got to make it big my friend
Cause talk is cheap and violence is funny and we got drunk and fucked up their party
Go to a party at a ritzy high rise, knock on the door, what a surprise!
Smashing tables, breaking chairs, Tim threw a cat down the stairs
When they throw me in the back of the car, I know what it'll be for

Criminal mischief, they called the law, Criminal mischief, kick a hole in the wall
Criminal mischief, I don't give a shit, About all you stupid pricks

Go to a party in a ritzy high rise, knock on the door, what a surprise!
Smashing tables, breaking chairs, Tim threw a cat down the stairs
Hate art fags and the new wave, Face put a basketball in the microwave
Here comes a cop with a gun in his hand, I just pissed in the fresh fruit stand
When they throw me in the back of the car, I know what it'll be for

Criminal mischief, they called the law, Criminal mischief, kick a hole in the wall
Criminal mischief, I don't give a shit, About all you stupid pricks