C/G 

[Verse 1] 
C/G                            F             C/G
I'm gonna steal some bedsheets, from an amputee
C/G                                     D                G      G7
I'm gonna mount em on a canvas, in the middle of the gallery
F                   Bdim7       Am      Am/G       D7/F#      Am           Am/G    D7/F#
I'm gonna tell everybody it was painted by a chimpanzee, but just between you and me
             G                               G7                                       C/G
Here at the cultural low water mark, if it's fraud or art, they'll pay you to believe

[Verse 2] 
C/G                             F                C/G
I'm gonna take five young dudes, from white families
C/G                                    D                 G    G7
Gonna mount em on a billboard, in the middle of the country
F                   Bdim7               Am           Am/G   D7/F#      Am           Am/G    D7/F#
I'm gonna tell everybody they sing like angels with whiter teeth, but just between you and me
                      G                                              G7                                 C/G
They're just like the ones before, with their standards lower, every concert goer will pay you to believe

[Bridge] 
F                        C/G
Caffeine in the morning, alcohol at night
F                                 C/G
Cameras to record you and mirrors to recognize
           Am                        Am/G          D7/F#
And as the world is getting smaller, small things take up all your time
          Am                         Am/G  D7/F# 
Narcissus would have had a field day if he could have got online

                 G                  G7                             Am   Am/G   D7/F#
And friends it's not self-love that kills you, it's when those who hate you are allowed
                 G                 G7             Am      Am/G   D/F#
To sell you that you're a glorious shit the entire world revolves around
                    G                  G7                   Am        Am/G   D7/F#
And that you're the eater, and not the eaten, but that your hunger will only cease
            G                G7                  Am Am/G  D7/F#
If you come binge on radiant blandness at the disposable feast...

     Am                    F 
Just quickly how would you rate yourself
            Am                        F
In terms of sex appeal and cultural significance? 
       Bb
Do you usually listen to music like this? can we recommend some similar artists?
        Gm                                        F#             F
Are you feeling depressed?...but your feedback's important,...to us...

[Verse 3] 
C/G                            F                C/G
Gonna buy myself a sports team, and put em in a pit
C/G                           D                 G  G7
Gonna wage the old crusade, against consciousness
F                     Bdim7                Am       Am/G     D7/F#               Am                Am/G  D7/F#
All I need's a couple winners to get every loser to fight in it, keep the golden calf, just need the bullshit
                      G                                   G7                                    C/G
They won't just sell themselves into slavery, they'll get on their knees and pay you to believe