Spent my last thirty dollars for a ticket on a greyhound
Tried to get due north, everything’s gone southbound
Finally found my woman at a truck stop diner
With a stone on her finger looking bigger than China

Bring it on Jesus, won’t you give it to me?
My skin is twice as thick as it’s got any right to be
If it ain’t one thing, it’s another
If it ain’t one thing, it’s another

Caught a Westbound ride in a blood-red Astro
Thought we’d go to Vegas but he dropped me in the Castro
Got high with a hussy and she gave me a gun
Then we robbed a bank, now we’re on the run

Lord don’t bring me home yet, still not ready to return
I know heaven’s gates awaits
But I’ve still got hellfire to burn
You can hang me from the gallows, you can drown me in the sea
My skin is twice as thick as it’s got any right to be

If it ain’t one thing, it's another (one thing it's another)
If it ain’t one thing, it’s another (one thing it's another)
If it ain’t one thing, it’s another (one thing it's another)
If it ain’t one thing, it’s your mother (one thing it's your mother)

If seen things that ain’t no one s’posed to see
I’ve slept alone when nobody wanted me
Now that every bubble’s burst
I still expect the worst
But at least I'm walking free

Sometimes you look around, there’s not much left to fight
Sometimes you can’t explain the things you did last night
Just keep in mind that every left turn will be right on, brother
If it ain’t one thing, it’s another

If it ain’t one thing (one thing), must be something (something)
If it ain’t one thing (one thing), it’s another
If it ain’t one thing (one thing), must be something (something)
If it ain’t one thing (one thing), it’s your mother

Sometimes you look around, there’s not much left to fight
Sometimes you can’t explain the things you did last night
Just keep in mind, boy, every left turn will be right on, brother
If it ain’t one thing, it’s another
One thing (one thing, one thing, something), it’s another
One thing (one thing, one thing, something), it’s another