I got out with my friends,
To the mall to check the latest trends.
I was feeling cool, I was feeling swell.
That was right before I tripped and fell in the wishing well.
My hair went sailing through the air,
Landed somewhere in the square

(Chorus)
Tell me have you seen my lost toupee?
Went for a dive, when it blew away.
Feel a little naked, but I'm ok.
Just hope I find it, before it starts to fray.
My lost toupee.

Last time I saw my wig it was in a pit bull’s mouth.
Last time I saw that dog, it was headed south
Accepting baldness can be so hard
That's why I seldom leave my yard.

Somebody help me, help me please.
Without my hair my head will freeze.

(Chorus)

I don't worry anymore about my loss of hair.
I found somebody who really doesn't care,
If I have freckles, zits, or a big fat nose.
My god loves me for me, and that's just how it goes.

He made me in the image of him,
From the top of my head from limb to limb.

(Chorus)

My lost toupee. It's ok. I don't need it anyway.