Anything he can do, I can do dumber
I can do anything dumber than him
No, you can't
Yeah, I can
No, you can't
Yeah, I can
Quit talking crap and prove you're dumb, man

To get around town I can ace this race
I roll down the street with shopping carts as skates
I always take first dates to da club with my mum
I run through airports screaming about my lip balm
You think that's dumb? That ain't shit
Son I misplaced my hammer so I used a nail gun
Blow dry my hair while I take a nap in the bath
I stuck my tongue to a frozen pole and it hecka sucked ass

Anything you can do, I can do dumber
I can do anything dumber than you
No, you can't
Yeah, I can
No, you can't
Yeah, I can
Quit talking crap and prove you're dumb, man

Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, du-dumb, dumb, du-dumb

Dumb!
Forgot to put lemons in my lemon meringue pie
Dumb!
Hold my breath through a tunnel and almost died
Dumb!
Siphoned gas out of a septic tank
Dumb!
Tagged myself a selfie when I tried to rob a bank
Dumb!
Lit fireworks in my room to hear them go pop
Dumb!
Built a fully functional humanoid robot

Er, dude that's not dumb at all. That's actually kind of brilliant

Oh, er

Peed into a bottle and gave it to a cop
Hahahaha!

Anything you can do, I can do dumber
I can do anything dumber than you
No, you can't
Yeah, I can
No, you can't
Yeah, I can
Quit talking crap and prove you're dumb, man

I can eat my phone to take a pic of my heart
I can scratch my own back 'cause I cut off my arm
Gave a scary biker a free prostate exam
To impress a hitchhiker I lit my fart inside a van