Progressive types are taking over the beach
Things are getting out of hand
People wait in line to be let into gay bars
Rainbow flags fly over our land
Riot at the pier
Riot at the pier
Riot at the pier
Smoking pot and drinking beer
Riot at the pier
Riot at the pier
Riot at the pier
Kent Shockneck is a fucking queer
It's a big toll call and the line is always busy
When we try to call the surf report
If we get through, it's to a liar who says it's shit when it's on fire
So we stay at home and crack another quart
Bisexual yuppies started buying property
Now they own it all
You can't even surf outside your own front door
The city flag is yellow with a big black ball
They'll arrest you on the strand for smoking reefer on the sand
And you'll do time for drinking a beer
What happened to the days when we could openly blaze
And do ludes and acid under the pier
Banana-hammocked cops wearing swastika tank tops
Are riding on razor scooters
Shooting at innocent volleyball fans
Whom they have mistaken for looters
Fred is back in town and the cops are on alert
Cuz they don't want to mess with Webb
Old Road Dog's got a beer bong, baby
And his eyes are bugging out of his head
DJs from KROQ and MTV
Have total control of the crowd
The C.E.O. of Epitaph Records
Leads them in a chant that is o-so loud
Fisherman Pete's stuttering in the street
He's had it up to here with this crap
He's a Vietnam vet and he'll never forget
And he's just about ready to snap
We were locked up in the skatepark
But we broke out after dark
And now we're burning down lifeguard towers
It's a natural result of a bureaucratic cult
Who is fucking with the balance of power