Now when the good ole holidays roll around
I'm the kind of a guy that likes to be found
Just takin it easy and layin around -doin nothin.
But I take my chair and sit on the lawn,
And just when all my cares are gone
About a million bugs start carryin on, and I'm cussin-

Some caterpillar from up some tree decides as far as he can see
There's nothin to do but to fall on me-the damn worm
And a dirty ole fly just makin it clear
That he ain't had a bath for over a year
So he's takin one now in my glass of beer to lose germs

Chorus:
Bugs Bugs Bugs, If I had them all in jugs
I'd dig dig dig, till a big big hole was dug dug dug dug--
And that would be the end of the bug song...

Well I try to sleep when I get the chance
But you just can't trust them cursed ants

They're never satisfied till they're in your pants and you're crawlin
With a spider web right across the face
I'm lookin around for a better place

Till a couple of hornets take up the chase and I'm howlin!
Well I head for the house and I hold my breath

Till I find some stuff in the medicine chest,

For the welts I got on the spot you guessed-where I'm sittin...
And the wife gets mad cause I forgot
To get stuff for the fleas our kitten caught

Off some old dog on the neighbours lot and she's rippin...

Chorus

Well I chased that moth from the middle drawer
That chewed the clothes I useta wore
And I jammed my thumb on the bedroom door tryin to catch 'im

And I'm sure the mosquitoes all know their skill
Cause one pryed up my windowsill
And he limped through the air with a broken drill and I'm scratchin.

You might think I'm a little bit rough
Cause I don't take to that nature stuff
But I think I've just about had enough of them bugs.

Now your backyard might be okay,
But I'm goin down to buy some spray
Cause my little place is walkin away with them bugs...

Chorus

That would be the end of the bug song
I'm gonna dig dig dig, dig dig dig dig dig dig....