D
While the jingle bells are jinglin'
        Dm
And the snow begins to fall
       D
And my Grandma makes her gingerbread cookies
     Em         A
Just across the hall
     D
I'm freaking 'bout what to get you
        Dm
Then it suddenly occurs to me
    Em
The best Christmas present is to rock your body underneath the fuckin' tree!

[Chorus]
        D                  G
I wanna rock you hard this Christmas
        D                          Em            A
I wanna fill your stocking with my candy cane of joy
             D          C             Bm            G
We'll have a very merry motherfucking Christmas
     D                   C
I'll drive the love train down Santa Claus lane
         G              Bb   A   D
I'm your little drummer boy

[Bridge]
          D
While the eggnog is all noggy
        Dm
And the fireplace all a-glow
          D                                 Em           A
While our bodies are heatin' up in yuletide places down below
  Dm
I hope you like my present
       D              Gm
It was way too big to wrap
    Em
I'm gonna get naughty all over your body

Come sit on Santa's lap!

[Chorus]
        D                  G
I wanna rock you hard this Christmas
        D                          Em            A
I wanna fill your stocking with my candy cane of joy
             D          C             Bm            G
We'll have a very merry motherfucking Christmas
     D                   C
I'll drive the love train down Santa Claus lane
         G              Bb   A   D
I'm your little drummer boy

D
(C'mon!)

[Verse 2]
         Bm
We'll be slushin' like snow angels til the morning
   Bb
We won't hear the reindeer hoofin' up above
   D
We won't hear Santa coming down the chimney
   G                                  A
We won't see he and my grandma making hot-ass cookie love
N.C.
But we'll hear him exclaim as he rides out of sight, he'll fuckin' say:

[Chorus 2]
A        D                    G
Granny I rocked you hard this Christmas
  D                            Em            A
I filled your stocking with my candy cane of joy
          D          C             Bm            G
So have a very merry motherfucking Christmas

[Outro]
        A                D
And the world will start rejoicing
         Bb
And the choir boys start to sing (dominus tannenbaum)
        Bm                                               C
And the lords a-leaping give the ladies in waiting their five ass golden rings
        D
And the seven pipers are piping
                    Em
The eight maids are milking in the snow
            Bm                                      B
And I'll be happy when I'm gettin' unwrappied by my Christmas ho, ho, ho...

(ho ho ho ho ho)

       E          D             A
Have a very merry motherfucking Christmas!
         E         D                  A
Peace on earth, we are the world, and frickin' kumbaya!
       E          D             A
Have a very merry motherfucking Christmas!
E
Deck the halls with your Christmas balls!
         A          C  D  E
Fa-la la la-la la, F  A  A !