A                D          A
I've been down here such a long, long time
                      D           A
My neck is at a weird angle and I don't love the view
F#m                          B
I've been working hard here, not sure what else to do
A              D      A
Maybe I'll try eye contact...
A
Nope, no eye contact, I feel like a creep
F#m                      B
Maybe it'll be over soon and I can go to--
A    D           A
Ooh, I just chagged, I hate cha--
         D      A
I did it again

                  D                          A
Who was the first woman to put a dick in her mouth?
A
So avant-garde, what a pioneer
F#m                                  B
God, I don't know anything about the history of women
A                    D              A
If a hipster cums on someone's face
                                                          F#m
Does he make it in a figure-eight like little cum-glasses?
E
Pearl vision


[Chorus]
A       D        D          E
I wanna make you feel good
A            D              D       E
And stopping now would feel kind of wrong
A       D        D          E
I wanna make you feel good
A              D                A
But only if it doesn't take too long


[Verse 2]
A                    D
What should I do? My mouth is so dry
F#m                        E
Is it considered lubricant if I start to cry?
A                             D
If my dad saw me now, I would feel so bad
F#m             B
Oh my God, stop thinking about my dad!

D                                E
The length of time down here I'm willing to do
D                           E
Is directly proportional to how much I like you
D                                E
I feel like you should know that, and hurry up
             F#m           B
'Cause guess what? I don't like you that much
           E
Or maybe I do
           E
Who are you?

A                          D
I'm 36 years old and I forgot who I'm blowing
F#m                             E
I can't be down here any longer with not knowing
A                                       D
You got one of those dicks that I can't seem to place
      F#m                              B
I'll pretend to take a deep breath and look up at your face
                 E
Oh! It's Derek!


[Chorus]
A       D        D          E
I wanna make you feel good
A            D              D       E
And stopping now would feel kind of wrong
A       D        D          E
I wanna make you feel good
A              D                A
But only if it doesn't take too long


[Verse 3]
   A            D            F#m          E            x3
E|------------|----------2-|------------|-------------|
B|----------2-|-------3----|----------2-|----------0--|
G|-------2----|----2-------|-------2----|-------1-----|
D|----2-------|-0----------|----4-------|----2--------|
A|-0----------|------------|------------|-------------|
E|------------|------------|-2----------|-0-----------|
                                                       x1
E|----------------------------------------------------|
B|----------------------------------------------------|
G|----------------------------------------------------|
D|----------------------------------------------------|
A|----------------------------------------------------|
E|----------------------------------------------------|

A        D                 F#m
   Wait, what's that sound?
E            
It's silence!
                            A          D
I feel like I haven't heard silence in such a long time
F#m                                                   E
Is this the first time I've stopped talking in, like, two years?
     A                               D
Am I talking to fill the void of the great big empty?
     F#m
Am I always like (gibberish)
B
So I don't have to face my fears?

     D                        E
Do I really need a dick in my mouth to stop talking?
D            E
Don't I ever shut the fuck up?
D           E
God, I'm so sick of myself
          F#m                        B     
I need to talk to my therapist about why I talk so much

Am I scared of si--


[Outro]
E         A
Yes, he's cumming!
E         A
Yes, he's cumming!
E         A
Yes, he's cumming!
E         A
Yes, he's cumming!
F          A
Whoa, he's cumming