E                      B     A

I’d like to do some calculations

         E                                         B    A

In the hopes that I’ll come to some realizations.

      C#m

My mind is not what it used to be,

                            B

That certainly isn’t news to me,

        C#m

But I want to know how my life was spent

                                       A           B

Now that I know that I’m near the end.

       E                           B             A

So I add, subtract, multiply, and divide

     E                                   B                A

To try and figure out what I did with my life.

           E                   B               E

I spent twenty-seven years in my bed,

                  E                   B                   A                    E

And there’s not much that I would’ve preferred to do instead.

           E              B                  E             B

I spent two years chewing, and six months wooing,

              E                    B                   E             B

And, I’m sure you’re curious, almost three years pooing.

           C#m

I spent twenty-five years working for a guy,

          B

That I wanted to kill when I didn’t want to die,

         A

But I spent fifty-seven years loving you my friend,

        E                        A       B       E

So I guess it all makes sense at the end.

  E                                B        A

I spent nearly a full year masturbating,

             E                                   B      A

Second only to the year we spent copulating.

  C#m

I know you’re not a fan of this vulgarity,

                                                         B

But completeness is important for full clarity.

           C#m

I spent more than seven years watching television,

                                          A         B

And how could I not regret that decision,

         E                                          A              B

But I don’t think that I’ll ever know how much time,

  E                                      A             B

I did or didn’t spend lookin’ into your eyes.

           E                   B               E

I spent twenty-seven years in my bed,

                  E                   B                   A                    E

And there’s not much that I would’ve preferred to do instead.

           E              B                  E             B

I spent two years chewing, and six months wooing,

              E                    B                   E             B

And, I’m sure you’re curious, almost three years pooing.

           C#m

I spent twenty-five years working for a guy,

          B

That I wanted to kill when I didn’t want to die,

         A

But I spent fifty-seven years loving you my friend,

        E                        A       B       E

So I guess it all makes sense at the end.

       E                                     B                  A

I’ve never known any way but numbers and sums

               E                                             B          A

To understand what we are and what we have become,

             C#m

But like numbers are perfect, that’s how this has been for me,

                                                      B

And I hope that I still give you everything you need.

C#m

Eighty years alive and four eating food.

                                            A              B

Five reading books and fifty-seven with you.

        E                             A            B

Two eyes, one nose, one smile, one life.

    E                           A                 B

It somehow isn’t ever quite enough time.

           E                   B               E

I spent twenty-seven years in my bed,

                  E                   B                   A                    E

And there’s not much that I would’ve preferred to do instead.

           E              B                  E             B

I spent two years chewing, and six months wooing,

              E                    B                   E             B

And, I’m sure you’re curious, almost three years pooing.

           C#m

I spent twenty-five years working for a guy,

          B

That I wanted to kill when I didn’t want to die,

         A

But I spent fifty-seven years loving you my friend,

        E                        A       B       E

So I guess it all makes sense at the end.

        E                        A       B       E

Oh, I guess it all makes sense at the end.

           E                        A       B       E