G      Am            G/B    G
John's new girlfriend is a cunt
C             D         Em
I don't know what he sees in that bitch
D        C  Cm
She'll ruin our lives
G/B        A7        D7/4       G
This bands gonna break up if that whore does not die

G      Am            G/B   G
John's got to stop taking LSD
C             D          Em
It's making him think she's a 10, really she's a 3
D      C  Cm
What the fuck?
G/B     A7      D4/7       G
Looks like her face got ran over by a truck

F  C G/Bb    C F C G/Bb   A7
Dumb fat bitch, Dumb fat bitch
     D7/4              G
And stop being a motherfucking dick

G      Am           G/B    G
Ringo won't shut the fuck up
C           D          Em
And George keeps writing these stupid fucking songs
D       C Cm
That's my job
G/B        A7          D4/7       G
I'm the musical genius, they can all just suck my nuts

F   C G/Bb  C F C G/Bb  A7
Suck my nuts, Suck my Nuts
     D7/4               G
And while you're down there, suck my cock

G      Am             G/B    G
Fuck this shit, I've got a plan
C            D              Em
Linda and I will start our own band
D       C   Cm
And call it Metallica
G/B         A7           D4/7     G
Metallica, yeah, that is a good name for a band

F   C  G/Bb  C F   C G/Bb A7
Metallica, Metallica
       D7/4               G
I'll have to run that name by Linda

G/B       A7         D7/4       G
Our new band Metallica is going to be super sick
G/B         A7            D7/4      G
If Linda ever dies, I'll marry a one-legged bitch
G/B        A7         D7/4       G
And then divorce her six years later
G/B       A7         D7/4      G
'Cause she was such a fucking bitch