There's many reasons why I drink and drive
If got to get home before it gets light
There's many reasons why I will arrive
I'm on the road and I'm as high as a kite
There's many reasons why I will survive
I drive a Volvo so I'll be alright

He drives a Volvo...

Well I got this car and I drove it around
And the police come along and they slow me down
Saying come to the station come with me
And where's your licence m.o.t
You drink too much you drive too fast
And now you'll have to blow in the bag
All the white crystals turning green
I suppose you know just what this means

Well they locked me up took away my keys
Without not even a thanks or please
Empty your pockets and things like that
And piss in a pot and come right back
Sit in a cell and make no noise
Or you'll get a visit from the boys
Then in comes one with a cup of tea
No thanks man it's a beer for me

Well I go to court with the old JP
I know the police got it in for me
They're telling that beaky porky pies
And say they think I shouldn't drive
I drink too much I drive too fast
And when I went to blow in the bag
Then all the white crystals turning all green
But in my defence I told 'em clean