"Thеге was only the bliss from having nothing to hide"

These voices, battling
Some loud, some more subtle
This crowd, this mob
Is there any space for me?

I internalized to protect myself
To survive I had to neglect myself
Thus hatred became synonymous with will to life
But now is the time to create

Empty look in my eyes
Feeling helpless and overwhelmed
Anger brought back the spark
But cleaning the house is only the first step

The vacuum created by sanity is threatening
But the tendency to invite old friends is suffocating

I survived their suffocating grasp before
And I feel afraid to look into the “threats”
Letting something unfamiliar unfold

There are so many choices
Its vastness overwhelms
But bigger is the avoidance
Its stranglehold so sweet

The vacuum created by sanity is threatening
But the tendency to invite old friends is suffocating

Fear masked as tolerance
Fear masked as “understanding”
Fear masked as a need to display strength
These fears pull me from the momentary truths

Suddenly it bursts; no longer a discrepancy
Between my inner acknowledgement and my outer expression
“It’s dangerous” they shouted, “you’ll become so vulnerable”
But there was only the bliss from having nothing to hide [2x]

Hiding or not, it became irrelevant to me
I found meaning in CREATION

Boundaries disappeared as I entered a state of immediacy prior to labeling
Enabled me to associate freely
Free from attachments based on fear of rejection

Suddenly it bursts; no longer a discrepancy
Between my inner acknowledgement and my outer expression
“It’s dangerous” they shouted, “you’ll become so vulnerable”
But there was only the bliss from having nothing to hide

The vacuum created by sanity (is threatening)
But the tendency to invite old friends (is suffocating)

Boundaries disappeared as I entered a state of immediacy prior to labeling
Enabled me to associate freely
Free from attachments based on fear of rejection